On Thursday night, I got in a minor bike accident. My friend Erin and I were independently biking to the Green Truck Pub for dinner and I saw her up ahead at a traffic light. I tried to get on the sidewalk so I could pull up next to her and we could bike the rest of the way together. The pavement was taller than I’d anticipated, so though my body was heading to the right, my front wheel kept going straight. I landed on my face, knee, hand and hip and the visor on my helmet popped off. “Oh no!” I said, and then attempted to fix my bike chain, which had been knocked loose, without getting too much grease in my scrapes. I called Erin and she kindly came and brought me napkins from the restaurant. Once there, I was able to clean up a bit and the server kindly provided some bandaids. Erin and I enjoyed a delicious dinner followed by a fascinating lecture on how the internet changes our brains.
Thankfully, I’m healing quickly and no longer look like I have an unfortunate case of oral herpes. For a while, I’ve been wanting to write a piece on cycling in Savannah and I figured now would be an especially appropriate time to do so. Plus, it’s been quite a while since I wrote a manifesto. Here it is:
The Savannah Cyclist’s Manifesto
Fellow bicyclists, join me as I petition Savannah and her guests for a moment of her time. We who love both economy and efficiency, who swim through the vehicular currents and torrents pulsing through downtown, who curse the cobbles and praise the pavement, we are the Savannah Cyclists.
One: Savannah Cyclists are equal members of the traffic conversation echoing through this loquacious city and are to be treated as such.
Two: Savannah Cyclists are pro-Lincoln, pro-Habersham, and anti-Broughton (and we are not talking Civil War politics).
Three: Savannah Cyclists arrive perspiring but find a parking space within seconds.
Four: Savannah Cyclists are particularly adept at biking one- or no-handedly due to their need to simultaneously tote mat board, Kroger bags, or yoga mats.
Five: Savannah Cyclists delight in coasting down the slight declines, locally known as “hills,” that are sprinkled throughout the city.
Six: Savannah Cyclists are pleasantly surprised every time they return to their bikes and both wheels and the seat are still attached.
Four: Savannah Cyclists are particularly adept at biking one- or no-handedly due to their need to simultaneously tote mat board, Kroger bags, or yoga mats.
Five: Savannah Cyclists delight in coasting down the slight declines, locally known as “hills,” that are sprinkled throughout the city.
Six: Savannah Cyclists are pleasantly surprised every time they return to their bikes and both wheels and the seat are still attached.
We cyclists declare to our vehicular companions a message of peace, of dignity, and of efficiency:
-To the SCAD busses: We have done nothing to you but help to pay for your upkeep. Kindly desist from running us off the road.
-To the tourists (either walking or on Segways): Yes, Savannah is a gem. She’s stunning, gorgeous, charming, and many other adjectives your book hasn’t even conceived of. She is also best appreciated from the side of the street.
-To the myriad tour guides driving fascinatingly slow-moving busses: You will get more tips if you don’t hit bikers during your tour.
-To the drivers entering the traffic circles around the squares who assume you have the right of way: It’s not you, it’s me.
-To the geriatric drivers who pause in the middle of a busy intersection to contemplate the meaning of life, the universe and everything: It’s 42. Let’s keep moving.
-To drivers who have recently parallel-parked: LOOK! I’m a bike this time, and car door beats bike, but next time I could be a U-Haul, and U-Haul definitely beats car door.
-To the horse-drawn carriages: We’re sure it’s awfully quaint up there in your turn-of-the-century buggy, but it’s awfully horse-urine-ish down here.
- To the cars that drive cautiously just behind you for three blocks at your exact speed: We could fit one of the smaller European countries in the space between me and the center of the street. I promise there is enough room for you to pass.
-To our fellow cyclists: Wear your helmets. Use bike lights at night. Don’t ride in the middle of the lanes; you’re giving us a bad reputation.
-To the tourists (either walking or on Segways): Yes, Savannah is a gem. She’s stunning, gorgeous, charming, and many other adjectives your book hasn’t even conceived of. She is also best appreciated from the side of the street.
-To the myriad tour guides driving fascinatingly slow-moving busses: You will get more tips if you don’t hit bikers during your tour.
-To the drivers entering the traffic circles around the squares who assume you have the right of way: It’s not you, it’s me.
-To the geriatric drivers who pause in the middle of a busy intersection to contemplate the meaning of life, the universe and everything: It’s 42. Let’s keep moving.
-To drivers who have recently parallel-parked: LOOK! I’m a bike this time, and car door beats bike, but next time I could be a U-Haul, and U-Haul definitely beats car door.
-To the horse-drawn carriages: We’re sure it’s awfully quaint up there in your turn-of-the-century buggy, but it’s awfully horse-urine-ish down here.
- To the cars that drive cautiously just behind you for three blocks at your exact speed: We could fit one of the smaller European countries in the space between me and the center of the street. I promise there is enough room for you to pass.
-To our fellow cyclists: Wear your helmets. Use bike lights at night. Don’t ride in the middle of the lanes; you’re giving us a bad reputation.
Finally, Cyclists and Non-Cyclists alike, remember the two things that unite us all:
1.) None of us can see around the parked cars when we’re trying to turn onto a road.
2.) The Savannah Transportation Annoyance Equations:
2.) The Savannah Transportation Annoyance Equations:
myself = in the right
everyone else = in the way
Remember that “everyone else” believes this too.
Have a good and safe week!
Sarah/Mouse
2 comments:
I am so glad Ms Mouse is still in one piece, at least generally, and that her vocabulary is definitely intact, decidedly accurate and that it spills in a lovely way past the ears.
You have made me want to see, though perhaps not smell Savannah one day.eyebron
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAA. OH MY GOSH. This was a great post. And you used the word "vehicular" twice - it must have been a good day for you!
Bahahaha. Smaller European countries. Tee hee.
Miss you!
LOD
Post a Comment